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Sudden Moment
Didn't enjoy so much in kbox ever since i broke off with current ex.
Its so happening after ~MOGU~, ~HARU~ & ~DEATHGOD~(AuSEA player) drank pure half cup of Jim Beam, on don't know which stupid game LOLzxc. Somehow I continuously picked ~HARU~'s name and made him drank. Haha.
Finally was my turn!! I chose 给我你的爱 by Tank. I excited, so i stood up & prepared myself.
I'm so into the song and very concentrating, someone flash thought my mind while i sung "等待一點一滴你對我感到安心, 感覺朋友關係有了新的默契" aha, i had this twice in my life (this life, for the past i don't know )
2am 1/7 a new mth! It's the mth for me to get diet, due to coming reservice and meeting someone in 3mths time. JiaYoouuS NEH! VAL
I never felt so much after you passed by me.
The Truth Behind The Truth. Speaking and listening about lies was a stress in my life.
Speaking a lie will cause someone to change or avoid related topic. Why?
"You do not like to let 3rd party knows what conversations you had last night, and they might keep on asking the related topic just to dig out the truth. Firstly you fright of losing 1 or 2 friends when you avoiding the questions. Secondly, you wish to have them companion by your side and do not want to lose any single of your friends and you intend to continue hiding the truth and telling them another lies?" - How long can it be last?
When you are the 3rd party ( bossy type )
They will intent to ask about the conversations happened on the last dusk, they're full with doubts and a wall of untrusted to speak with you. You might be saying the truth, but they might not be satisfy on your answer and they will be continue the related topics to mind-map the picture of the whole incident till they are please.
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我已跟随你这么多年，你去哪我都陪会跟随你。之差没陪你岁睡，哈哈哈！！！ Friends
I found this poem suits my currently feeling, so i decided to post it on my blog. This poem is by Brenda J. Metz
I remember the time not long ago
When we laughed and shared it all
We were the very best of friends
Or at least that’s what I thought.
I often wonder why friendships end
What happens to sever that tie
How can someone once so close
Just wave you off with a good bye
I must have been lacking
I must have been wrong
I wasn’t the friend to you
That you were to me all along.
I thought I was loyal
I know I was true
But something went wrong
Now there’s nothing to do
A friendship lost
Is a very sad thing
The angels weep instead of sing.
Everything Happens for a purpose. Time & Waste
Wasting a lifetime Trying to find love Nothing happens No hope, no girl
Suddenly miss her But half years before Can't do anything Used to be friends, nothing more
Now realized affection Can go no further Lost a lifetime And lost desire
Try to forget But can't Try to die But don't Mind suddenly gone No end is near Nothing to do now But go on
Willingly, but not.
Prediction. (Finally)
Finally my prediction granted, but is not the 5days i predict it's 16days.
Dam tired and ran out of energy to smile. Flu, sore throat and the worst is diarrhea. Kept heading toward toilet like every mere 5mins, since 3pm (approximate) till now.
I went to measure my weight, last measurement is 102.5kg~103.5kg and the current was 101.5kg . Still have more to go. Target 85kg.
This week picked up on 2nd job, yesterday was my 1st day as a postman lol, deliver near my estates ToaPayoh. 3 hours of cycling and searching for the block  tired! But it's a good! With someone paying me for losing weight.
Just called my assistance store manager, letting her know my situation. If she cannot find someone to replace me, I'll be jolly well get my painful ass back to work tonight.
(when i'm free, there's more to update)
我真的好伤悲,好难受. 不知到什么时候才是尽头. UBER pissed.
i'm sick and tired of people who keeps twisting my words around.
and stuff i meant to say to your ears, you keep it to your own self and instead of telling others.
and because of so much miscommunication, a little back tracking, i found out who have been telling others stuff that's not suppose to be told. even if you were to say it, keep to the bloody original context, instead of adding your own opinions to change it to your own bloody opinion.
you know who you are. at least i HOPE you know who you are.
you bath in your own happiness, without sparing a thought for others. enjoy while it lasts. before maturity sets in.
i may sound harsh, because i'm already fucking tired of stuff that's happening around. the last thing i need is MORE miscommunication and misunderstandings.
My English The post below are from my old blog, is a 2006 posted. I read back my old post and found out that my english is totally CUI worse that current one till cannot even remember my house. The post will be highlighted in purple. Enjoy ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is been 1wks since my last updated.
Having 2 trouble now *sigh*
Tis few days keep on up and down, school, sleeping, having gathering wif Auditioin member..chattin on fone, gaming =( life is bored / if church member is readin tis ; they will jus tell u, "since u bored, come over to church. Everything will be Diff" - come on la..wont last long for my attitude ^.^V
Before i start everything, i wanna say i LOST my hp ( in the toilet, over my workin area)
I having 2 trouble,
Yesterday evening 17/8, after finish the movie "Ghost Game" wif 1 of the audition member Suzaku(bijiao) no money left XD plan to have a dinner over my house =P. Stay until 10.35pm, i send her back home at Hougang @@ seriously is quite near XD ,Toa Payoh to Potong Pasir, ride NorthEastline to Kovan, 2 bus stop will reach XD.
Tryin to settle down and have a chat wif my parent(mother) bout gettin my 3rd r/s(relationship) .. My Mum's reaction is "Wat for!? u still 18! studyin now. no money and still wan to get into relationship...everything still i need to pay to u! like last time wif Yvonne, her mother BDY i still had to pay for her.. A~Z-Z~A. Wei Chong is useless la..study first. U still need to go in army" i was like can u pls shut up jus 1 min, jus let mi keep back wat i said jus now ='(
Tis 2 wks Bijiao and mi keep having Dinner and breakfast almost like continue 3 days..even Audition clubber oso can see tat r realli toooo close liao..btw she's 20 :D workin now (atleast not a playful type - vivian u know my meaning la haha), but i'm still a student.
The feel is NOT feel for mi now.. so i dun wanna start a relationship, i do care for her like other. I jus cant make myself to start tis r/s. Maybe is a crash or wat. I jus give myself 1 mth more..if after 1 mth feelin still the same..haiz - i dun know la..dun think about it first..tonitez work again ..sunday having plan for ForceFlow(clubber), he goin oversea fly at monday morning. So we plan to have a last dinner wif him, before he return to singapore.^^
Since after lost the HP..dun know wat i goin to have it next..maybe the fone tat i'm using last time de =(...if have extra cash ^^ i go buy new hp wahah..!! ( dream on k )
Vivian-
Sry vivian, tis few days like dao-ing u ..teacher mark mi liao haiz..for using HP haha..is fine now =P hp lost..teacher wanna mark mi oso hard ar..i go buy a Toy Hp and smoke tat teacher =X i'm so bad.
ShuFen-
Shufen, maybe u r the gal like to look for trouble (as in, give in tat time..u not realli willin to give in, tats y u r realli sad. I wish u choose the rite guy, so many ppl warn u now..he dun love u as much as present(s)..i wish u get my word my dear^^ take care..since tat time i lectured u ..u dun dare to sms mi liao ar aha.
Patrina-
Dun keep giving stupid remark la..we both not in r/s..i will dun realli know wanna go for it ma..the feel for mi is not rite now ^^ __o.O__ Yea! haha..study hard la!..btw..dun treat yr bf tat worse..he is a gd boy as every ppl know ahha..he is a camper =P wat u wan ..he will have it XD..u need a guy i know..dan dun bulli him haha..later he run ( u r goin to say "run run lo" correct? haha ) k la..dan wis u gd luck
*Road r still long, Heaven still need mi to touch it*
*Hell is the places tat for sinner, i'm the 1 who steps on devil* - i still love u my lord.
Prediction.
I predict myself to be sick in less then 5 days time.
How do i know? each time i get a freakin' sore throat for no reason, i'd fall sick like nobodies' business. fever, cold, flu, cough all-in-one. (Shiok)
-_- gah. 1 week of half-dead half-alive feeling. the price to pay for having a weird "shell" like mine?
anyways, i realised, for the past few month, i haven't been taking anything seriously. i just couldn't find a reason to be serious in anything. and i didn't realise it, but some part of me isn't me anymore.
gah. its just so hard to say what i've forgotten about myself. whatever happened to my old ways of showing concern and consideration? the way i do them now is totally different.
which i realise, is that i've gotten more selfish.
maybe not taking anything seriously, has started to grow a concept into my mind. the dreaded "why should i?" concept which i detest in the past.
maybe i'm just thinking too much, but its a fact i've gotten more selfish in these few months' period of time.
gah -____- i've down-leveled from a 87% Taurus-like guy, to maybe 58%? lol.
is it normal to grow a zit the size of 20 cents coin under your armpit? O_o
TimeSpent few hours to fixed my blog interface and some photos, finally this is what i want it so much.
Checked Clara's blog managed to read finished 08' post. And found out some inner type of attitude she had. Regarding your latest post, you will be fine girl. The most important thingy is heart not mind. You will understand eventually in the future
Later 11pm I'll be starting my work, although the feeling is kind of dusk i still need money.
if i continue this way, ill be having shits right into my face. sigh~
Christmas is really stat at the corner of the calender, already thought of getting what present for her. Hope she will love it
1:24am my mood is dim, feeling so wrong right now. How i wish someone who may chat with me, thinking about future already hits me to death. It will be better if i stay bachelor forever? hahah. I hope not . Come to think of it seriously money is impt. Especially living in. Singapore. I need to get a rest now. P.S -> Rmb girl you will be fine, if I'm not wrong this will be your slogan " just be yourself and you'll be just fine (: "
Val - Faithful to 1; Sincere to all. Unhealthy Life
What makes me depressed were my english vocabs.
Even my Malaysians friend spoke/written good english and vocabs.
Sigh, not even worth to be a dust. Making up Mind
5th of Oct Started my work in SPC [Singapore Petroleum Company].
What happening the most was fell on the 1st day of my job. I got complimentary from the customer which he e-mail to SPC-HQ.
This job is kind of tiring but what makes me to continue is the gift that gotten from the HQ although the gift is suck lol, but i still appreciated.
Worked already 1 month. I do not know how long can i continue my life for this way. Its boring
and the working time shift is bad. What i heard from my friend cat's advise he told me is totally nothing. WTF!!! Forget it, since i need money. Starting from this month my handphone bill i have to handle myself  . Money is just a piece of paper/plastic. which makes me work like dog.
Too bad i didn't studied well in the past, now is what i got for present.
There is plenty of job in SG, but i am lack of confident to face the new stuff.
What can i say is, I am a spoon feeder type. Do not really research unless i need it FMI
I do not watch news, read news paper neither yahoo.com. I'm a googeist lol .
Talk about my future in studying which makes me headache.
-If i'm trying to get a degree in future, let see i'm 21 this years. 22 i go Nitec, 24 Higher Nitec, 24~25 polytechnic. Struggle for 3 years 28~29 liao.
From that time, i start earning my real cash. Forever Bachelor? or marry on my 40s~50s.
Next solution- Spend 1K on private O, get myself of worse scenario i fail my O with 35point.
if can go RP i skipped for 3~4years in ITE. Worse come to worse enter Higher Nitec, I will skip 1year of my time in studying.
Last solution is base on totally luck.
-Work in SPC, get myself a O level, or Part time ITE.
work until i got promo to supervise or higher.
But the worse case is at my age of 21 now. i do not even earn a 1K. Its damn shitty
Come to think of it, i still do not know what i want the most in my life. I hardly can make a choice and go for the target. How i wish someone pay me on helping gaming/leveling.
And of course power supply too..
Life short short in a few years Damn!Bad friday, planned to swim after the 2.4km jog. Raining when on the way to stadium. Didn't do any sport. craps
Weeee, 2 of my friends entering the 9dragon world. Wish they can last long.
-Forward the days to take my blanket back from my ex. Sick ._.
what i can do is, wish she did not do the wrong choice.
([Chapter 6: page 52 line 36]) -: ((Loving someone is hard, loved by someone will be the hardest.))
Fats fats!!!
I hate my Fats!!
No rice, but need a bit carbo how?
Making myself a plan, daily swimming. monday to friday (do not know can i tahan) a bit hate jogging for now, do not have motivation in jogging. No sweat for saying about my weight. currently 100kg [3th' September] If i continue my diet and swimming, i'll update my weight in blog every 1wks.
Yesterday watched the show "They kiss 2 again"[taiwan drama]. Had me thought of my very last relationship & sobing for 30min, keep pausing the show and cannot control my emotion. Its been almost 2mth. Sigh
-To gain an experience, is to gain the process of pain. 9Dragon Its been almost 3mths. I did not even notice i played this online game for this long to reach current level "Elemental Crown 3" (Lv. 99).
This the ranking below which shows you the level of achivement, i'll explain the level.  - None ~ Lv 0
- Losing Self (LS1~12) ~ Lv. 1 - 12
- Gathering Chi (GC1~12) ~ Lv. 13 - 24
- Opening Chi (OP1~12) ~ Lv. 25 - 36
- Revolving Chakra (RC1~12) ~ Lv. 37 - 48
- Raising Light (RL1~12) ~ Lv. 49 - 60
- Five Dragon (FD1~12) ~ Lv. 61 - 72
- Sun & Moon (SM1~12) ~ Lv. 73 - 84
- Golden Blossoms (GB1~12) Lv. 85 - 96
- Elemental Crown (EC1~12) Lv. 97 - 108 [current level EC3 - Lv. 99 @ aug30th]
- Floral Crown (FC1~12) Lv. 109 - 120
- Crimson Snake (CS1~12) Lv. 121 - 132
- Golden Blossoms (GL1~12) Lv. 133 - 144
- Humble Master (HM1~12) Lv. 145 - 156
- Little Master (LM1~12) Lv. 157 - 168
- Hermit (H1~12) Lv. 169 - 180
- Projected Soul (PS1~12) Lv. 181 - 192
- Dissolved Body (DB1~12) Lv. 193 - 204
- Immortal (IM1~12) Lv. 205 - 216
 This Pix above which i got my very very first 999 blood count that will free 1 Blood Essen(BE).
BE is meant for refining weapons and exchanging some epic stuff.
 This bikini deco is free from acclaim for 30days. Added quite amount of extra status.
this deco is something like Maple Cash item. able to stack the current eq.
 This the current equip I'm wearing, and the bikini is in the bag at bottom right. This 3rd pix is where ViceGameMaster[VGM] checking on Macro-er player.I'm sick and tired of training skills. So i pull my screen to right side and left half watching show. Suddenly i saw purple words, i wonder who pm-ing me. And i found out is VGM checking on player which abusing on macro lol.  Finally I'm from Golden Blossoms1(Lv.85) to Golden Blossoms12(Lv.96) hit 100% exp.
need to play Chi Breathing to hit next ranking which is Elemental Crown 1 Lv. 97. Therefore, no screen shot for EC1 (elemental crown 1), but i have EC3 pix. Which i took after the 2x event on aug30th (sunday) Distance!
Loving Some one far apart is that so romantic?-Why cannot give a chance to someone willing to turn over? -You did said "when i'm stable in my finance you will willing to come back to me" -But what i can see now, you're really into HIS life. WHY WHY WHY? -When a relationship is getting at the end of the cliff, "A" wishes to continue, "B" wanted to end this relationship but dun wan "A" to keep disturbing and asking same question over and over. A very gd way to get him/her of is to tell him/her "Let both of us jus cool down, i promise i'll give you an answer" ( Bullshit, just to send him/her off the stage )
Why you choose to love some1 which more dan 15,000miles. A 2Years10mths relationship cannot even compare with a 2wks online couple?!. What are you thinking?
Just because you need someone in that moment and i'm busy with work. Just nice someone opened yr heart & enter?.
Is it fair for me, do i have the right to say this?
Just becox you do not wan to love/had 2 person in yr heart. You KICKED me away just becox he did gave you what you need the most on that time. Touch your heart girl, in that 2years10mths relationship i did not do something that betray the relationship, EVEN i can clash with someone 1 met.
Just becox i did not give eunff promise to you, din give you any care and concern when you need the most. If you judge a person this way, you are totally wrong.
I loves to play joke and trick on you. But i do not lie to you, unless is a surprise going later on. After your round-about topic just to hint for breaking up. You din even damn hell bother to look for me or contact with me, i'm the only idiot who calling you. I'm down here crying, you over the computer curse and swearing to someone who have the rights to care/concern for you.
Got defamation, non-fame for me. toward your online BF!
Wu-tang is a gd choose for you. You like to *Push*
[ In the Relationship with you for nearly 3 year, i dun know is that really you? ] you change alot, jus like changing channels. Like changing the attitude towards me.
In 2 relationship i got dumped twice, why cant i'm the 1 who're dumping? Why?
To avoid someone you loved in the past. Minor - - Change Msn
- Do not entertain any memento
- Do not even call him/her
Major - - Change contact
- Move to other location ( wow )
- Try to his/her face & Confront! ( haha )
This memento is a present in 2008 Valentine's day
There's no pleasure in having nothing to do. the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it. (copyright)
Last 2years, 9th Aug' 07 i held her hand walking from Esplanade to Merlion which opposite fullerton hotel. The pathway only meant for 3 person to walk together, i held her hand and told her, "even a couple walking toward us i will not let you walk behind me". We watched fireworks.
Last years of aug. we went to NDP'08 (preview).
This year of this time i staying at home 16:17 writing this blog. About 1pm went to look for justin & pearlyn planning for an group outing, overall result is "negative" so let me be a homie.
Reached home i saw my house is like having New Year house keeping, seriously i'm not really happy seeing this. Re-arranging my cupboard i saw a box of present with is bijiao(ex) gave to me i opened the box and saw a letter contain inside, had my memorise recalled. Kind of emo and happy.
Should or Should not:
26th of August should be a 3th anniversary never think would happened this way. Do not dare to speak to her, neither msn nor phone chat i do not know what to start with. Sigh.
Plan to make a lot of small surprise for her, but do not know she free to accept the dating or not. Making a small strawberry tarts for her, she loves strawberry a lot. Bring her to cycle, lunch, movie and dinner. Recall back the first time dating, after we had our soya bean and sat at the nearby playground. Chatting about what is the future we want to be, and how much money we plan to earn for the living. Almost 3 years and time passes fast.
Should i try my very last chance to court her back, i already know the feeling is totally difference. Until now she is the lady I love, she changed me a lot and did a lot of things when we were together in an olden days. How i wish can he like last time again, I neglected her lot and never be a gd boyfriend due to my immature.
Currently have 1 song really suits me a lot, this song sung for my feeling and thought.
Is sung by 曾沛慈 泪了 Those lyrics that i had high-lighted is been through my feeling:
你要走了
也带走所有快乐
甜蜜的片段散落了
疲倦了 心冷了 我哭了 要在一起绝不分离
你怎么放弃了 当你放开了手
离开的时候
有没有一点舍不得我 我还留在黑暗中守候
你却已经远远离开我 梦醒了还剩什么
我要的幸福消失了
你的心曾经属于我的 回忆还旋转着
爱怎么停了
我们都累了 I don't really know what is the use for blog.
To out burst the feeling that kept inside heart?
Or to type out the enjoyment and unforgettable memorise?
Its been 2 weeks, i still cannot settle down my emotion. Friends told me if you plan to move forward do not hold yourself on the same spot, if you keep standing on the same coordination why you try to get back what you lost.
I myself is really confused. Moving forward will let me feel so lonely right now w/o any personal supporter, standing on the same coordination will just too forceful to be.
The feeling for the past is already gone, but for me the feel & emotion is still right deeply inside my heart. I study, i sing, i sport & play do every little single things is to let me kill time and stop think about the past. But every time when i'm alone the devil whisper to me and angel will lecture.
Even i do not know when i live until, but i will know my target is an aim for a bull-eye! (If i have a Time-Machine, i willing to rewind back to 8/26 2006) -Today is the 6th time dreamed of same person.
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